You could be the next coach of the Indian cricket team ~ Cricket Blog - THE COMMENTARY BOX

Friday, June 15, 2007

You could be the next coach of the Indian cricket team

Are you interested in being the next coach for the Indian cricket team? Here's a sure-to-work step-by-step process to achieve just that:

Step 1: Build a lot of hype around yourself.

Step 2: Get around 5 senior players around the world to talk positively about how great a man you are etc.

Step 3: Go on record expressing your willingness to coach the Indian team and talk about how great the country is, how beautiful the coaching job is, how good Indians in general, how much you love the land and its people etc.

Step 4: Make some friends among the gentlemen at BCCI.

Step 5: (Once you are asked to appear before the panel) Bring a stylish and shiny laptop for the presentation. Make sure the presentation itself is totally awesome. Awesome in the sense, it should have lots of impressive animation, senseless yet colourful graphs and beautiful & imposing pictures. The content can be anything. You could even talk about Little Red Riding Hood, her wrinkly old granny and the big bad wolf. Also make sure the presentation lists a lot of jaw-dropping goals, however unachievable and far-fetched they may be..

Step 6: Make and present more such lists of goals. The more the merrier. This is the critical deciding factor. The more goals you list the more your chances are. And need not worry about elaborating on how you will go about meeting these goals. Nobody cares about all that crap. All you need is to tell the panel that you will take the cricket team to the stratosphere. And they will be convinced.

Step 7: That done all you need to do next is do some more lobbying, praise the BCCI politicians in the media and flash some toothy grins and you are done! The job is yours!


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